Girl, I See You!

Photo: Pixabay

Girl, I see you! I see you trying to present a perfect image to the world so no one sees the pain you carry. I see you and I feel you! I understand the pressure to present myself as perfect to hide failures and blemishes. I hide these things because I wonder if someone sees my imperfection, will they still love me? I know what it’s like to wish I could wave a magic wand and make all my struggles go away. I have at times chosen conformity to the world for the sake of being comfortable and popular. I know the guilt a hasty choice of conformity can bring and how much I desperately wished I would have chosen God’s transformative path.

I feel that need to be seen as beautiful, to belong, to be wanted, and to be valued. I have felt the discouragement of chasing after a standard of beauty that is constantly out of reach and leaves me feeling empty. I’ve heard the messages that my worth is not just found in my body, only to be confused by the world’s loud messages that unless I meet its standard of a hot body, I will not have worth in anyone’s eyes.

I know what it’s like to have talents and skills I want to use for the kingdom of God but to feel discouraged by the way others view those abilities.

I know what it is like to be unsettled and frightened by the evil that is in the world.

My sister, let me share with you some things that I have learned.

I see your loneliness

One of the most powerful weapons the enemy tries to wield against you and me is the lie of loneliness. He wants us to feel alone in our struggles, our shame, and our pain. He wants those things hidden in the darkness because he knows if we bring those things to the light, we will find healing. We find healing because the truth is, we are not alone. Everyone knows what struggle, pain, and shame feels like. God allowed Jesus to suffer so He could empathize with our weakness (Hebrews 4:15). We have a Father who is ready not to strike us down for our mistakes but to welcome us home and heal us. We have a Father who has given us a family to sharpen and comfort us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says,

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

So, my sweet sister, do not struggle alone in the dark. Take your worries and your cares to God because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Talk about your struggles with a trusted friend or mentor who will offer advice and encouragement (James 5:16).

Direction not perfection, love not self-advancement

You and I are not perfect and that is okay. Trying to be perfect leads to anxiety because we know deep down that perfection is a lie. The calling of Christianity is not one of perfection but of a better direction. Our Christian life is compared to a race (2 Timothy 4:7). In a race a runner may stumble and fall, but what matters is that he gets up and keeps running toward the mark. The purpose of Christianity is not self-advancement but love. Too often we try to use our Christianity to prove our perfection when our purpose is to show Christ’s love (1 Timothy 1:5), a love that does not leave us even when we fail.

God satisfies

We have heard it a thousand times our beauty is not defined by a pretty face or the cover of a magazine. It is defined by God. However, truly accepting this takes work. We must drown out the messages that tell us otherwise. How? By filling ourselves with messages of God’s love and setting boundaries around things that cause us to doubt our worth. Why? Because we can never be satisfied through chasing the world’s admiration. Only through God’s constant love can we find peace in knowing that we are fearfully and wonderfully created (Psalm 139:14).

I see your value

Being modest so we do not cause our brothers to stumble is important, but it is also important that we are modest for ourselves. What we do with our bodies matters. It affects us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Dressing modestly not only shows respect for others, it shows respect for ourselves. God commands us to dress modestly because of His love for us. He does not want His daughters to feel the pain of being viewed as an object to be used. He wants us to see ourselves as a whole person, not just as a hot body but as a hot Christian- a hot Christian who has great value.

I see your importance

Sister, we do not have to prove that we can do what a man can do. God specially designed our role. Our role is not just being silent. Allowing men to lead worship is a boundary God set (1 Corinthians 14:34), but it is not the sum of our role. There are numerous ways we can serve without challenging this boundary. Do not believe the lie that what God has called us to do is not important. It may not be flashy or widely recognized, but it is crucial. People who argue otherwise would not be here if it wasn’t for one of the roles God has given to women; the role of being a mother.

Final mic drop thought

The struggle is real, but so is God. The theme of the Bible is victory through God. We do not have to fight through this world alone. Exodus 14:14 tells us,

“The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”

My sister, are you tired from chasing the lies of this world? I’ve been there too! We can rest because we know in the end that God wins. He won the fight for our souls and now we belong. We are not uninvited in this world. We have a voice and our voice was created for a reason. He won the fight over sin so that we could have a deeper beauty that comes from his transforming spirit. We do not have to chase the fleeting beauty of the world to know we are beautiful. He won the fight over death so we can infinitely bask in His love and grace. No matter what our fight may be, let’s turn it over to God. God wins!