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Publishing and marketing our book Princess Training and starting a blog has been one of the most frightening things I have attempted to accomplish. Neither of these ventures guarantees success. Recently, I have struggled with not letting my confidence go up and down with book sales or blog visits.
Confidence. A seemingly elusive concept. We have books and countless articles to help us build our confidence. We work on feeling good about ourselves and our bodies, yet so many of us still struggle with fear and insecurity. What are we missing?
While thinking about building confidence that stands even when looking at failure, I came across a lesson I taught at church camp about facing giants.
The story of David and Goliath is an amazing story of confidence. Imagine being a young boy trained in the art of keeping sheep, standing confidently to fight a huge giant skilled at war. David faced a giant the entire Israelite army, including his tall, buff brothers (1 Samuel 16:6-7), ran away from. What was this young man’s secret to confidence?
Here are a few tips we can learn from David to build our confidence.
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Tip #1 Know where to put your confidence:
We lose confidence when we focus on the giant.
In the story of David and Goliath, you have the ultimate showdown between what humans often try to place their confidence in and God. Goliath was the pride of the Philistines. He had the experience, the looks, the strength, and the latest armor. The Philistines were so confident in Goliath they put the fate of their army in his hands.
The Israelites seem to have forgotten that they serve the God who parted the Red Sea and knocked down the walls of Jericho. This 9-foot-tall blinder of worldly success stood in their path destroying their confidence. In that moment, I do not think any amount of grooming, workout routines, or self-talk would have helped the Israelites. No matter how much they told themselves they could defeat this giant, they knew the truth. Goliath had them beat in every measure of human accomplishment. So, in despair, the Israelites ran. They were stuck saying, “Look at that giant.”
We lose confidence when we look at ourselves.
David did not have the fancy resume or the buff appearance that is part of societies script. In all counts of human understanding, Goliath had the upper hand. When David declares that he is going to defeat the giant, Saul and David’s brothers begin picking him apart. They were saying, “Look at you, David, you’re just a kid wanting to play with toy swords. You are trained to watch sheep not fight in battle.”
Saul also had a resume. He was the Israelite champion, but Goliath’s resume was better. Saul and David’s brother’s confidence was tanked because they were saying, “Look at our weakness.”
Where David found his confidence:
When confronted about his lack of skill, David had no reason to deny his weaknesses. In 1 Samuel 17:34, David tells about killing a lion and a bear while keeping sheep. This was the resume he gave Saul. Why was this resume impressive? David tells the secret ingredient to his resume in 1 Samuel 17:37,
“And David said, ‘The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine…”
David was not someone we as humans would tend to put our confidence in. However, David knew that his God was bigger. We may not have the looks, the experience, the strength, or the latest armor, but we have something mightier. We have our God who has defeated giants time and time again. David was saying, “Look at God.”
Why our confidence programs do not always work.
Many books and articles on confidence focus on how we can feel better about ourselves. As seen with the Israelites, Saul, and David’s brothers, putting confidence in ourselves does not work. Why? Because we will face a giant who in all counts of human success has us beat. Humans were not made to be self-sufficient. We cannot face these giants on our own. In 2 Corinthians, Paul tells us this about our confidence,
“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” (2 Corinthians 3:4).
No matter how qualified we are or how hard we try, without Christ we will always find ourselves running from our giants. God made us to need Him.
To conquer our giants, we need to stop struggling to do things on our own strength and reach out for the strength and confidence God offers us. (click to tweet)
Tip #2 Have a backstory.
David had a backstory with God. Because God delivered him in the past, David had no doubt God would deliver him in the future. What has God helped you accomplish in your life? From a young age, I have kept a prayer journal. One thing this journal does is remind me of my backstory. Through this journal, I am reminded of times I was weak, and God delivered me. Remembering the victories God has already won, I gain confidence to pick up my armor and keep fighting.
Tip #3 It is okay to work up to giants.
David did not start out fighting giants. He started with fighting lions and bears. It is okay to tackle our lions and bears before confronting the giant. I have worked on building my confidence by resolving to do one thing a day outside of my comfort zone. I started with small things. As I began conquering the small things, I gained confidence to tackle bigger things.
Tip #4 Choose the right weapons.
If we were preparing to fight a giant, how many of us would choose a sling and 5 stones? Any takers? We would probably respond like Goliath and ask if this is a joke? We would want the impressive armor. Am I right?
In Ephesians 6:13-18, Paul lists out the weapons we have for our warfare. Some of our weapons include what we learn in the Bible, prayer, and living righteously. We do not seem to be very impressed by these weapons. Why do I say that? When we are trying to solve a problem, how often do we turn to Google versus turning to our Bible? How often do we talk to or listen to “experts” verses talking and listening to God? At first glance, these weapons seem like facing a giant with a sling and a few stones. How can reading a book, talking to someone, and living righteously help us stand strong?
God’s word.
The Bible gives us God’s backstory. In the Bible, we learn about the impressive things God helped people without a fancy resume accomplish. We see God excelling at taking weakness and using it for strength. We serve a God who accomplishes incredible things in the lives of His people. This knowledge builds our faith in God and gives us the strength to face giants.
In the Bible, we also have the ultimate source of truth. One of the deadliest giants the enemy uses against us is lies. We need the strong foundation of truth in God’s word to help us defeat these lies.
Prayer
When we pray, we understand from the Bible that we are calling on someone real and powerful. 1 John 5:14 states,
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
We do not have to fight alone. We, like David, can face our giants backed by the power of God.
Living righteously
In 1 Peter 3:13-16, we learn of the power in living righteously.
“Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.”
When we live righteously, we can silence the enemy’s attacks.
Tying it all together
Through this post, I want to encourage you to put the foundation of your confidence building in Christ. What does that look like?
When you struggle with feeling confident, instead of picking up a book on how to build your confidence or googling confidence building tips, pick up your Bible and learn more about your God. Turn to the one who…“is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20). What can He accomplish in your life?
When you are working on more positive self-talk, let the basis of your self-talk come from God’s promises and the love He has for you. This song, He Will Rejoice Over You, is a good illustration of self-talk grounded in God’s promises. The song is based off a verse in Zephaniah which states,
“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).
Let your self-worth come from the fact that God the creator loves you. Instead of overlooking your weaknesses, acknowledge them and let God work through them.
When things are not going as planned, learn to rest in Him. In Proverbs 14:26, we learn that when we put our confidence in God, we have rest, rest from the gnawing insecurities and fears that tell us we are not enough. We can answer those fears with confidence saying, “Look at my God!”
Maybe instead of trying to build our confidence we should build GODfidence.
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